Compartments are full…
December 31, 2007
I have this special talent, not the greatest to have, but at least I’m really good at it…..until now.
From a very young age, I have been really good at compartmentalizing my fears, sadness, anger and frustrations. I have never had to linger over a problem or issue for very long, I simply just tuck it away and move on. I don’t know why I do this, could be a product of a really crappy upbringing. I believe it was a tool of survival for me when I was young, but then turned into a habit as I moved into my 20’s.
I’m 33 now and I have no compartments left. I have lost my special talent and am coming to the horrible realization that I can’t just lock away my feelings anymore. I’m not sure why I have lost this ability. I do believe that in order to see the best of yourself, you have to first see the worst. I have realized that if I keep forcing them away and not dealing with them I will suffer great consequences….my health, my happiness, and most importantly….my children’s view of a healthy, normal adult.
So, what do you do when you realize your way of “dealing” all these years needs to change? Well initially, you freak out. But then, you feel relieved. Happy to find the courage to find a better way.
I don’t usually do New Year’s resolutions….I don’t like to set myself up for failure. But, I think I may have found someone or something to help me. So, hears to emptying out compartments and being happy.
Happy New Year.
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: compartmentalizing, New Year's resolutions, self awareness.
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1.
rolandapete | December 31, 2007 at 7:16 pm
That’s good, I got a few chills reading that. My compartments are painfully full as well, and it feels good to “clean out the closet” every now and then;-)
2.
Kim D. | January 1, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Wow Danielle, your writing is very powerful! I am so proud of you. I believe that we all have our own compartments that we stash things away in which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You only need to know the right & healthy way to deal with them when they overflow. Heres to a happy & healthy new year!
Love,
Kim
3.
Erika | January 3, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Everything will be okay!! I agree that it is refreshing to realize the shortcomings we have….it makes us better in the end. You’re a very strong woman, and an amazing mother (I hope that one day I will be half as good as you) you are going to be okay! The first step is finding out what is wrong…now you’re on your way to fixing it!!!!
4.
Marty | May 21, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Just let it all out, that’s what I say-sometimes it will get you in trouble, but you sure will feel better afterward knowing that you aren’t keeping everything inside anymore…I did the same thing in my 20’s, once you hit our age, it all has to be released before you explode…