Compartments are full…

I have this special talent, not the greatest to have, but at least I’m really good at it…..until now.

From a very young age, I have been really good at compartmentalizing my fears, sadness, anger and frustrations. I have never had to linger over a problem or issue for very long, I simply just tuck it away and move on. I don’t know why I do this, could be a product of a really crappy upbringing. I believe it was a tool of survival for me when I was young, but then turned into a habit as I moved into my 20’s.

I’m 33 now and I have no compartments left. I have lost my special talent and am coming to the horrible realization that I can’t just lock away my feelings anymore. I’m not sure why I have lost this ability. I do believe that in order to see the best of yourself, you have to first see the worst. I have realized that if I keep forcing them away and not dealing with them I will suffer great consequences….my health, my happiness, and most importantly….my children’s view of a healthy, normal adult.

So, what do you do when you realize your way of “dealing” all these years needs to change? Well initially, you freak out. But then, you feel relieved. Happy to find the courage to find a better way.

I don’t usually do New Year’s resolutions….I don’t like to set myself up for failure. But,  I think I may have found someone or something to help me. So, hears to emptying out compartments and being happy.

Happy New Year.

Yeah…I love the ice too!!!

I know, you all hate the ice…..but I think it is beautiful!! And as long as it doesn’t blow my power out I have nothing but love.

Check out the pictures I took today:

Snow, Snow, Glorious Snow!!

Illuminating Snow

It finally happened, the one thing that I have been looking forward to the most since moving to Missouri…….SNOW!! It was a beautiful, snowy day yesterday. I think we must have got at least 2 inches. It fell in all sorts of types. First, drizzly. Then softly. After that, strongly with big, beautiful flakes.

I know, you must be thinking, what is the big deal lady, it’s just snow! Well, after spending the last 26 years in California, I can get pretty jazzed about the stuff.

Heck, I love the snow so much that I merrily and with great enthusiasm shoveled our entire 2-car driveway all by myself!

Another reason why I love the snow…..my car! My beloved Dodge Durango 4×4 R/T is soooo made for this kind of stuff. Yep, I went out driving right in the thick of it. Emma and I cruised the R/T to Target without a worry in the world. As I saw other drivers skidding about, losing it in turns, I just effortlessly made my way through town. By the way, what is with some of the drivers around here? I would assume that this snow stuff is a pretty regular deal and you should be pretty good at driving in it by now?? Whatever, just stay out of my way please.

My girls love the snow too….they had a blast sledding at a neighbor’s house after school. They were going at it well past sundown!

All right, enough with the snow. It came, I loved it, hope more comes again real soon!

Hmmm…maybe I will make ice cream out of the snow….yum!

Hello world!

OK, finally getting with the times here and starting my own blog. What will it be about? What will it NOT be about really! I suspect though, that the majority of my blogs will be about the two subjects in my life that evoke so many emotions (good and bad) from me that I just can’t keep it all inside anymore: being a stay-at-home Mom and food (preparing and consuming).

To be honest, being a stay-at-home Mom is a love/hate relationship for me…..more on that later.

Food, food, food, nothing but love for the stuff. One of my greatest joy is preparing delicious food. My dream is to be a chef someday….maybe even write a cookbook???

Hope you enjoy my thoughts!